The emotional ups and downs of having a husband who works long hours 

Last week, Anthony left Monday morning for a week long trip for work. He is not a big work traveler, but he works ALOT. I didn’t think this would affect the girls much because they are only used to seeing him for maybe an hour in the mornings, on a normal work day. 

For me, I knew it would affect my sleep at night because I don’t like being in the house with the girls alone, and I also like the breakfast and morning routine help. However, as soon as I get the girls in the car for the Y, it’s really like any other day after that! I would also miss a little time seeing him late at night too.

Sunday night, Anthony read the girls some books together and then put Hailey down for bed. I took Aurora back downstairs because she had taken a long nap that day and wasn’t quite ready for bed yet. While we sat on the couch, I could hear Hailey crying, hard. I had to fight back tears and when Anthony came downstairs, I went up to try and calm her down. 

I explained to her that daddy works very hard so that mommy can stay home and spend time with her and her sister. I told her we couldn’t live in our house, have our pool or take fun trips if it wasn’t for daddy. I was successful in calming her, but our conversation made me think…

Sometimes, my appreciation for how hard Anthony works FOR US falls to the wayside, and me trying to calm Hailey down was a reminder of that. 

The next day, Anthony Facetimed us from the airport before he took off. Then, when we got to the Y, Aurora was bawling when I tried to leave her, holding onto me for dear life! Aurora has been going to the Y since she was 8 weeks old (the day she was allowed to go). This was so weird, but I knew immediately it was because she knew Anthony had left. Aurora didn’t seem fazed the night before he left when he was trying to say goodbye, but obviously his absence the next morning affected her. 

Even though the girls only missed out on 5, maybe 6 hours total that they would have seen their dad last week, the fact that he wasn’t here really sent them through a loop. 

I hear other people’s stories about eating together as a family for dinner each night, or a mom relaxing while their husband takes care of bath and bedtime routines, and I get jealous. I wish Anthony was here to see the girls more and here to help me with them. 

It’s so easy to look at other people’s lives and be jealous. I get jealous of people’s husbands who come home for dinner. I get jealous of people whose husbands work from home. What I would have given not to have had to wake up Aurora just to pick Hailey up from preschool everyday. 

But I realize, I shouldn’t be jealous at all. Some people get more time with with their dads and husbands than we do, but some get less. Everyone’s household is different and shouldn’t be compared. Everyone has struggles. 

Me having to explain to the girls why daddy had to leave last week really made me look at the big picture and realize that I shouldn’t dwell on the time Anthony isn’t here, but make the most of the time he is. 

Anthony works so so hard for our family and I know he wishes he could be around more too.

Anthony, if you’re reading this, thanks so much for all you do for the girls and I. We love and appreciate you. 

8 thoughts on “The emotional ups and downs of having a husband who works long hours ”

  1. This is what I neede to hear! My husband has been working nights since twins were born and been gone since Easter working out of town. I get upset/sad he misses things and kids cry if he comes home for a day to visit or a birthday then rushes back. I have to remind myself there are families who don’t get to have that (deployment or single maybe) and as much as it kills me , I agree this is how I can stay home and have the things we have. Thanks for writing these things because you do help in a way someone with your “life” stories! 💚

    1. It can be so hard sometimes, but I always try and remember why he isn’t around and that he is doing it for our family! Being gone since Easter must be really hard! Hopefully both our husbands put in the long hours and trip away now so they can be home more when the kids gets a little older!

  2. Love this one! I can totally relate since Dave works second shifts and Saturday’s. It’s definitely rough. PS–I love your hair in that last picture!

    1. Hopefully his hours will change soon! Thanks about the hair…that was an old picture though! I wish I had those arms again too, haha!

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